We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

Magic Bills and Hell’s Gates

Here’s something a lot of you don’t know, I got to meet with Bill Gates recently. Some of you may not believe that, but you can’t prove it’s not true so you’ll have to take my (very trustable) word for it. In fact; do you honestly believe I would lie just to set up my blog post?

Now where was i? Oh yes, Bill Gates. The conversation went somewhat like this.

“Welcome to Microsoft kid, you’re here for that college trip thing right?”

“Uh…”(I wasn’t, but what the hell. It could turn out he could go all Oprah and give away stuff.) “Why yes I am”

“Come along then. Let me show you how we make Windows”

“What? Isn’t that just a bunch of people sitting around computers? How is that interesting?”

“Hahaha. There’s a few surprises you won’t expect…and here we are, the Windows department”

“Are you sure?”

“I am Bill Gates aren’t I?”

“But, theres no computers here”


“Are those witch doctors?”


“Dancing around a disc?”

“Yes, that would be Windows 8 in production”

“Is…is he rattling a sheep’s head at it…”

“A goat head actually, but that’s nitpicking.”

“But that’s not how you make software”

“How would you know? We ran out of code years ago. Since no one knew how it worked anyway, we turned to witchcraft. More efficient that way. Hold up…step back, watch out for the fire”

“Fire? what fir…..wow, that almost burnt me. What the hell was that?”

“Not hell, the devil”


“Well, the devil’s part of Microsoft now, managed to steal him from Google. We now own the exclusive rights to hell, and the devil. We had to sacrifice that MS word paper clip to him, but I think it was worth it”

“The devil?”





“STOP! He doesn’t like that name. but yes. Never wondered why Vista was so goddamned evil?”

“oh yeah, I guess that makes sense”

Well, there was more to that, but ive got to say, the devils a pretty funny guy. He promised to show me how to turn facebook from blue to red. Wicked! (no pun intended).But I hope you learnt something from this post. Your computer works on magic. So does Google. And good old Bill, also known as the new CEO of hell assured me that the nice administrators of WordPress are actually chicken sacrificing magicians who thrive on words. Isn’t technology wonderful?


One response

  1. Aggrey

    This would explain why I wake up in the night to see the computer hovering over me with a dead rat splayed over the keyboard. I just thought it was trying to woo me.

    November 18, 2010 at 12:46 pm

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