We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

Pessimists, Optimists and Me

I have many times been called a pessimist, a title I deny vehemently. Here’s why.

A pessimist is someone who waits for negative things to happen
An optimist is someone looks forward to positive things happening.
I on the other hand LOOK FORWARD to negative things happening.

While I do specialize in the negative like a pessimist, I await them with the glad expectant pose of an optimist. An Optipest if you will. One who not only expects the negative, but cant wait for it to happen. In fact I have a list of the most intriguing of these awkward, unconstructive events that’s fast on its way to becoming a book. I’ll share some of it with you.

1. The glorious day when Facebook’s system screws up everybody’s birthday and everyone comes to the oh so startling truth that, no one actually knows when their birthday is.

2. Jesus second coming; when he meets the 1 billion + members of the Roman catholic church. See…I figure the last thing Jesus would want to see is a cross. I mean, he was nailed to the damn thing till he died. It’s like JFK coming back and the crowds gather with little sniper rifles bracelets. The question that should be on the mind of every Optipest is…whats gonna happen? What Will Jesus Do? WWJD?

3. That shocking moment after you finish reading this and i inform you that skittles have carminic acid in them. Not shocked yet…let me break down carminc acid into layman terms. Carminic acid = crushed carcasses of dead boiled beetles used to color your candy. Bon appetit

This are just a few of the glorious moments in the life of an Optipest. Join the movement,l wait for the “Optipest bible” titled “The Cup is half full…of poison”

our mascot, The Skittle Beetle

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2 responses

  1. liv

    Marry me!

    December 2, 2010 at 1:50 pm

    • gachagua

      lol. i take it your liking optipest(ism/ing/ering)

      December 2, 2010 at 5:30 pm

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