Easing In To Murder
FUN FACT: I once held a knife to my brother’s neck just to see what it would feel like and how he would react.
I’m the resident life taker of the family. Mostly because I’m criminally incompetent in the kitchen and this is the only the thing I can do to contribute to the feeding of the family. My role includes all of setting free the blood from the fleshy prison cage that is a chicken’s body. I role that I took to with amusing zeal.
My M.O. is to do it quickly and efficiently getting as little blood as possible on my clothes, and because I don’t want to have the ignoble (I just love getting to throw in words like these) honor of being the first fatal case of bird plague thanks to the fleas fleeing the cooling carcass of my future dinner.
I’ve also had the pleasure of helping to slaughter goats and cows as well. All this usually makes me wonder how easy/hard it would to making the leap to slicing and dicing someone from your own species. What makes it any different from killing livestock? The fact they can talk back? If you could get away with it, would you take a blade to a random human being and not be especially disturbed by their demise?
The only time I’ve felt regret is when I used a blunt knife to slaughter a chicken. It was quite horrible to feel it bucking and crowing in pain as I tried my darnedest to rip open skin and muscle. This chicken tried so hard to escape it broke it’s own wing. Eventually, I had my little sister who was present (aren’t I such a good brother) get me a sharper knife for me to finish the job.
So when you are about to kill someone, will seeing the fear and their efforts to get away get to you? If you avoid it all by jumping and getting it over before they know help when it comes to assuaging the guilt. Does being a sniper mean that you don’t really get to see your targets as human? Or is it still the same amount of mental scarring? And what and how exactly does the human psyche break? How does it change your world view? If brings home the fragility of life, how different is it from when a loved one passes away, or when you see a person getting run over?
In the blind rage that comes over a person when wronged, has the thought of causing grievous bodily harm ever come to mind? I’ve fantasised killing people who made me mad, but that was as a kid (which I still am), when you thought every slight was worthy of the worst punishment imaginable. But how does the leap from thought to action happen? Probably/Hopefully I’ll never get to know and neither will you.