We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

Girl Crush (For Once)

What do you think when you see a woman do this to a red blooded male?

If that makes you think, “That’s my dream girl right there!” Then join me in setting up a Kenyan chapter for femal professional MMA fighter, Cristiane “Cyborg” Santos.

At only 25 yrs of age, this lady is officially ranked as the most dangerous person without a set of bangers and mash. She gets paid to do to other women what Ike Turner and Chris Brown can only dream of. Her brutal mauling of her opponents has lead to questions if she should fight men instead.

Cris trying her hand at facial reconstruction

More on the woman of my dreams (or one of them) after the jump.

Any woman who has potential for genuine technical violence always piques my interest. But the savagery that Cyborg brings to the fight game just makes me fall in love. This is the kind of woman who would allow domestic violence as a legitimate dispute resolution measure.

Not that there’s any chance of any normal human male ever winning any argument that way (NB: note we’re winning it in a vocal forum). She will not beat you on the feet, she will also strangle you on the ground once you start turtling up from her vicious foot stomps.

Demonstration of how she carried her hubby over the threshold

As much as I would wish I could fill that role, Cris is already married (NOOOOOO!!!!)

And before you think this is your chance to steal her away, just take a look at her husband, Evangelista “Cyborg” Santos.

Women be wetting their pants for different reasons than the men

The only person manly enough for her is another professional fighter. And these two not only live together, train together, and work/fight in the same organisation, they also share the same fighting nickname. That’s what a cute couple does. Any attempt to cuckold or even lustfully look at his woman will end in someone, mostly you, in the ICU, with an astounding case of blunt force trauma induced amnesia.

But I wouldn’t want (or be able to) break up such a happy and fateful marriage. All I can do is sit back and wait for my time as I stare at the woman of my heart and pray for divine intervention against the man in her life.


You KNOW this was all a set up for this! XD


3 responses

  1. weirdo

    March 11, 2011 at 8:59 am

  2. You are a masochist. A suicidal one.

    March 11, 2011 at 9:47 am

  3. Pingback: Things I Should Do, But Won’t. « Do Not Feed The Bloggers

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s