We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

For Kabambe Users Only

Since the unfortunate demise of my previous phone, I have had to resort to a measure that I had once arrogantly declared to use… Twitter via Text.

You know the times you get so frustrated that you want to bitch or scream but all that comes out of your mouth is “GAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” ?

I swear! I feel like I’m in a stuffy relationship with the people I subscribe to. Like y’all are awesome enough to know that if I was bored mindlessly in some dull class I wouldn’t mind reading the stuff that spews from your mind… HOWEVER every single time I do that I’m suggested to an INCESSANT flurry of random thoughts sent to my phone or a “OMG I saw this its so cool” photo link (which I obviously CANNOT see!) every time you get even mildly amused. If you cannot relate to the misery that accompanies a Twitter addict’s acquisition of a Ka-freaking-Bambe then PRAISE YOUR LORD!

 

 

 

I mean seriously thats what happens, especially with the widespread popularity of Whatsapp (the poor man’s BBM) in Nairobi and its immediate environs…. (I mean I had a CAB GUY on Whatsapp. Not that theres nothing wrong with cab guys but can you imagine how awesome that was? Till it wasn’t fair.) The thing got so out of hand that it became mandatory that every time any imbecile with a smart phone would step into the kitchen and make a meal that closely resembles:

 

And then some daft caption like:

Whoops. Look what happened! LOL

And for me (before my forceful ejection from the World Of WhatsApp (or W.O.W.A for short) having absolutely NADA to do except glue my phone to my phone, will respond almost immediately with:

LOL! #EpicFail

and then we’ll LOL and be BFF’s and soon send each other photos of what were wearing and discuss the ease and/or difficulty of our bowel movements….

Now imagine all that, ALL DAY, ALL NIGHT, and its more that one person… some are of the opposite sex. Ladies, you get updated EVERY SINGLE TIME he talks about his genitalia… Fellas, its the same thing.

                              Johnny! La gente esta MUY loca! WHAT THE FUCK!

Its not like before where youd be offline and miss the “GOD I’m hungry!” tweets and get only the gems… everything…..everything!!!!!

 

MORAL OF THE STORY: TAKE CARE OF YOUR INTERNET ENABLED PHONE!

 

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