We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

Awful Stuff Is Awesome (Or Why I’m Reading Twilight)

I’m reading Twilight. *pause*

I’ll leave now.

That should be all I’m allowed to write. After all the mocking and ridicule that the series has suffered, the best criticism being found here, I finally decided against all common sense to read it.

And yes, 40pages in, it’s starting to look as terrible as advertised.

Then why am I putting myself through this dribbling mess of a book? Terrible things are entertaining as all hell!

That’s the reason why I enjoy watching the old, low budget production Kung Fu movies. With their awful, terrible, just plain bad English dubbing, acting stiffer than Mandingo, their overly-stylized martial arts that would only be at home in a gymnastics showcase and with enough plot holes in the story to use it to sieve my tea, it defines bad cinema. Two wrongs don’t make a right but the combination of all these wrongs lift up the terrible to the amazing.

If you don’t know about the BasedGod, good luck becoming a master chef. Lil B is a visionary, a talent so ahead of his time that it’ll be decades before we come even close to understanding his lyrical genius. For now, all we can see him as is a living parody of modern hip hop. Lil B has not been able to grasp the concept that rhyming actually entails rhyming. He never keeps to the beat and all his rapping is nonsensical at best. According to him “Hoes on my dick cause I look like Jesus,… Niggas getting mad cause I dress like Jesus Christ…”

The resemblance is uncanny!

He’s also Ellen DeGeneres, Willy Wonka, Mel Gibson and Charlie Sheen, all of these metaphors coz of the fact bitches and hoes be on his dick son! If ever a man deserved to be termed a coon, it’s this guy! And yet, why do I run to check out every new video he puts out? Why am I practicing my cooking skills out on the streets? All this shit storm of awful and I still can’t help but add to his Youtube hits. This can only mean one thing. Lil B is…

 

I’ll even watch awful things that I swear up and down the block are beneath me! And Korean drama fits this category perfectly. It’s melodramatic beyond belief. Characters are motivated by such childish impulses that even man-kid me calls bullshit. And convoluted stories of romance are a staple of this genre. It’s the exact kind of thing that will have girls breaking down into gooey messes of girliness, the kind of world guys always feel uncomfortable in. And yet, I continue downloading episodes, with my usual excuse being I was asked to. But what’s my excuse for actually watching kdrama like this

Boys Over Flowers

Filled with dudes that are actually pretty! (shudders), these don’t even have the blessing of busty latinas that Spanish soaps bring. But it’s just sooo much fun railing all episode long at the Asian absurdity of it all. It’s the antithesis of what I consider entertainment but I’ll still watch it if only to have fodder to accuse my female friends of femininity. It’s amusing trashing their favorite kdrama series and seeing the outrage. All my excuses, and all it boils down to is enjoy watching girly asian drama. *sigh* I don’t think I’m ever getting back my man card.

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2 responses

  1. And you thought you had a man card before?

    February 17, 2012 at 1:49 pm

    • Aggrey

      My manliness knows no boundaries!

      February 17, 2012 at 2:15 pm

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