We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

Advice From A College Dropout

Ladies and gentlemen i have found the answer to all your academic problems. Ever get so fed up of school and exams and cats and assignments and bullshit till you decide to quit? I did! and of course with such decisions come horrible consequences and economic sanctions…. not for me! Why you ask? I have a solid statistic filled explanation as to why its 100% okay for you to fail exams.

 

WHAT?

 

Yes. You read right. SOLID, waterproof, no holes to poke… just pure science and math. now sit down and pay attention… it may be your last time 😀

Its NOT the fault of the student if he/she fails an exam, because the year has an ONLY 365 days.(YOU HEAR!!!)

The typical academic year for a student

1. Sundays- 52,Sundays in a year, which are rest days. Balance: 313 days.

 

2. Summer holidays (ya Wazungu, all those abroad, and all those who when the said summer bunnies come through party like they are going back together) -50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study. Balance: 263 days.

 

3. 8 hours daily sleep means 122 days. Balance: 141 days.

 

4. 1 hour for daily playing-(good for health, which is crap for most Kenyans, but were looking for excuses over here…FOCUS) means 15 days. Balance: 126 days.

 

5. Two hours daily for food & other delicacies (chew properly & eat, light properly and smoke) means 30 days. Balance :96 days.

 

6. 1 hour for talking (man is a social animal) means 15 days . Balance: 81 days.

 

7. Exam days per year at least 35 days. Balance 46 days.

 

8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival holidays (Easter and other public holidays) 40 days. Balance: 6 days.

 

9. For sickness at least 3 days. Balance: 3 days.

 

10. Movies and functions( or periods of time spent nursing hangovers) at least 2 days. Balance: 1 day.

 

11. That 1 day? YOUR BIRTHDAY.

 

*drops mic*

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8 responses

  1. Truly Eye opening. And backed up by solid undisputable Math.

    June 9, 2012 at 3:22 pm

  2. Aggrey

    You forgot hours wasted in traffic.

    June 9, 2012 at 3:32 pm

  3. Moses S. Kipsang

    LoL..
    Very funny and stupid perspective 🙂

    June 9, 2012 at 3:45 pm

  4. LivKidula

    That’s covered under sickness… traffic is nauseating, right?

    June 9, 2012 at 3:51 pm

    • Aggrey

      Can’t argue against that logic.

      June 9, 2012 at 4:11 pm

  5. My head of law school should see this.

    June 25, 2012 at 5:02 pm

  6. Reblogged this on Iamnotyourmum's Blog and commented:
    Totally makes sense

    July 18, 2012 at 12:45 am

  7. Reblogged this on Eric Daniels Pages.

    October 5, 2012 at 4:55 pm

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