We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

The food of the gods

Sometimes you see things that crush your spirit, break your heart, numb your mind and even damn your soul. Things so horrible, even Aggrey would cringe. I saw one of those things yesterday. Somebody on twitter said…give me a moment, I need to gather some resolve to go on. You should too. You’re about to hear something truly horrible. Somebody said…

They hate chapatis!

What?! How dare anyone say such a thing? What kind of monster do you have to be to hate chapatis? As I pointed out here, we have a growing international fan base and some of you may not know what a chapati is, I’ll explain.

Chapatis are God’s gift to earth. Here’s an old African tale that should capture their importance.

A long time ago, a man was starving in a barren wasteland plagued with famine, war and poverty. In his despair, he looked up to the sky and cursed the gods. To his surprise, a voice from the sky answered.

“Why do you curse us so?”

“You gave us nothing! There is nothing good in this land.”

“Now now, that’s not true. Is there nothing you can think of that’s good here?”

“Well…I guess we don’t pay taxes. That seems like a good thing.”

“How do you even know about…anyway, actually- some men are coming on a big boat to bring you taxes.”

“You see! Nothing good!”

“I see your point…hmmm…How about this.”

“Whats this?”

“A chapati.”

“You think you can just pick something of your lunch and buy me off with it?”

“I’ll show you how to make it too.”

“Oh go screw yourself you….”

The man had taken a bite. Tears welled up in his eyes and he whispered “Hakuna matata!”

That’s a true story. No really, it is. That’s how chapatis came into this world and hating them is a sacrilege! It’s the food of the gods, how picky can you people get. Anyway, i realize some of you may not feel as strongly about chapatis….BUT YOU’RE WRONG! No one should be able to resist them!

In the famous words of Jesus: It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. Except with well made chaptis. Lord..i mean I know i could use one right about now.

Then again, my Sunday school teacher was also a chapati vendor who accepted offering money as payment so i cant really speak for the accuracy of that quote.


2 responses

  1. GreyRok

    My world was already ruined when I discovered there were people a.k.a Tetei who hate chicken! Dafuq!?

    August 2, 2012 at 6:29 am

  2. Maryanne Jelagat

    hahaha HAKUNA MATATA!

    December 29, 2012 at 7:54 pm

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