We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

Disproving the Theory of Evolution

Some people waited with bated breath on 22/12/12 for the world to end.

2012 comedy

Except, guys, maybe the apocalypse did happen. Maybe zombies did climb out of their graves to suck for some brain matter snackin’. Maybe the Mayans were on to something, but it just didn’t happen the way they thought it would.

Personally, I think the zombies were anarchists, and so they targeted monarchial and government figures. Case in point: Kenyan politicians the Queen of Sheba.

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This is a long one, folks. Take a seat. Grab a snack. It’s pure comedy gold.

It all started with a discovery by Her Majesty herself:

sheba

Just a simple misunderstanding, right? I mean, if AIAC’s Twitter handle was the first you were ever seeing of the site, then maybe it would be okay for you to be a little miffed. No worries, a quick reply from a tweep should set you straight, right?

Right?

Nope.

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Things got historical for a brief period of time.

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And then people tried to patiently talk some sense into her.

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But she had some of her own.

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Guys, shit started getting very personal.

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And then we had another couple of history lessons.

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The Wicked Witch of the East Horn silly queen even pushed this poor African guy to the verge of desperate alcoholism:

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And still he tried to get along. Peace-loving, us Africans.

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After which she broke it down to the rest of Africa why Ethiopia is just so important:

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Honestly, KIE should just scrape the entire History syllabus and give this girl a job. She knows her stuff.

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Finally, the poor guy gave in and began to look for (her?) intelligence at the bottom of the bottle. I wonder if he found it. I will find him and find out.

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Because really:

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And then this wonderful individual pointed us to her Twitter bio, and s few things began to make sense:

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Still, things couldn’t get any worse, right?

Again, nope.

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On top of everything else, she became our resident economist.

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A quick change of hat and she was Mwalimu again.

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And it would have ended here:

sheba end

had this lady kept out of it. Twitter is bursting with inciters, yo.

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And once again, shit got real. She exhibited a very… erm… un-African point of view. Oh the irony.

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Gathoni even took some time out of her day to do the queen’s homework for her, because we all know how spoiled royalty can be. And unable to please, apparently. The ungrateful girl threatened to stop financially supporting Gathoni, forcing the poor peasant into a most unpleasant begging situation.

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After which the queen stopped tweeting back, but made one last comment. Really, she’s all over the place this one.

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That, ladies and gents, concludes today’s round of Twitter entertainment. If you read it to the end, thank you. If you didn’t, I understand you.

Keep an eye on her account for more, if you’d like to. Yes, I do realise this may make it seem like you have no life, like me, but let’s not pretend you do not spend a large percentage of your day looking for stuff like this, even if she’s just trolling.

If not, go bounce a cat.

Now excuse me while I go write Obama a heartfelt plea.

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5 responses

  1. Miranda

    I think she was perfectly logical. And that “go wash my feet with milk” line was golden! Hahahahaha

    February 10, 2013 at 3:43 am

  2. GreyRok

    I really want to hit on her! Though I just don’t know if I could get past the “hit” part.

    February 11, 2013 at 5:25 pm

  3. i liked her a lot too, that girl has wit for days, of course there is a chance she was being as satirical as the africaisacountry title a small one though, even without that though she was amazing, holding her own against all attacks like that!

    February 11, 2013 at 5:46 pm

    • GreyRok

      You thought she held her own!? O_O
      Ok.

      February 26, 2013 at 10:36 pm

  4. If I could direct your attention to the current ongoing…disagreement she has with @_YourMixologist in which she offers up the following royal epithet:

    SHUT YO UGLY DARK AZZ UP. YOU LOOK LIKE A TALKING BOTTLE OF PEPSI IN YOUR AVI, BYTCH. @_YourMixologist

    March 28, 2013 at 3:49 pm

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