We don't bite…unless you're into that sort of thing

Pro gamers have it hard…

I once blogged about a certain yummy pro gamer here by the name of Crumbzz. Today we’re gonna talk about another equally yummy pro-gamer called xPeke. Please don’t leave yet. It’s gonna get morbidly interesting. I promise.

Now, Peke is hot. He’s just hot. There’s no other way to say it. He plays for a team called Fnatic. He’s Spanish, but their gaming house is based in Cologne, Germany. He’s like the ambassador of his team, a poster boy of sorts. Not in bad taste, coz he’s quite sexy. He’s also 21, so he’s internationally legal. Yeah ;). He’s also a pretty solid player. His mechanics, plays and in-game reactions are pretty beast, so he’s not just a pretty face. (Go to youtube and  search for xPeke Kassadin backdoor to see his most legendary play). 2 Chainz said he wants a big, booty hoe for his birthday, I just want a naked xPeke in a bubbly bathtub for some fun times for mine. (The thirst is real. I know).

AND HE’S SINGLE!!!

Anyway, moving on, he obviously has a crazy huge fanbase, and the video below shows why some dudes have been questioning their sexual orientation in regards to him. He also gives no fucks at all, because giving fucks is overrated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tmgWh7IeM64

Sorry, I donno how to do the links thing. Excuse my shadiness.

Back to what I was saying, after all this rather important background info, you need to understand that being hot and good at what you do has it’s rather…negative side effects. A couple of weeks ago, dearest xPeke received a parcel from a fan. A female fan. From Spain. How the hell she managed to stalk their house in Cologne, I donno, but nonetheless she got the address and sent him some fan mail the ol’ skul way. What did she send him, you wonder, that she couldn’t do it the digital, 21st century way?

A pad.

And tampon.

With blood.

Period blood.

Her period blood.

BOTH OF THEM HAD HER PERIOD BLOOD ON THEM.

I’ll let you stew on that for a long while.

Now at this point in time, I find it hard to blame the chic that did this. She obvious has some very serious mental problems  that ran very, very deep that her parents have refused to address, so we’re gonna blame the German and Spanish postal services. I don’t understand how they couldn’t realise there was something exceptionally wrong with that parcel. Granted she must have wrapped it hella well and so the sheer smell of period blood couldn’t filter out, but they surely have those x-ray scanning thingys that could have blatantly shown SOMEONE IS SENDING A FREAKING PAD AND TAMPON DRENCHED IN PERIOD BLOOD.

Needless to say, it’s understandable that he never took his…gift with much grace, and burnt it with all the fire, larva and brimstone right from the deepest pits of hell itself. (Okay I donno what he  really did, but I assume he did this).

I’m still disgusted though, though I must admit, it was morbidly funny. Is this how cavemen women displayed their primal feminine possession over their prospective mates? Sent them a few millilitres of blood and other dead cells from their vaginas? If so, then evolution is really not doing things right. Either that, or natural selection continues to fail us.

Have a disgusting free week. On that bombshell, Peace.

                                                                                                                                                                                

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