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Jidenna: A Classic Man’s Video Problem

Jidenna walks into conference room for a meeting with Mary, the video creative director.

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Mary: Hi, Nice suit.

Jidenna: Thank you.

Mary: It looks familiar. It’s the one you wore to the BET awards isn’t it?

Jidenna: What? No. I threw that away. I wouldn’t wear a suit twice. Goodness me.

Mary: Wait, you’re trying to tell me you don’t ever ever repeat a suit?

Jidenna: Well…there’s the one I wear to funerals.

Mary: Really? That’s the one you don’t replace?

Jidenna: I mean…the people there are either dead or grieving. And it has to be black like everybody elses. They won’t be able to appreciate it.

Mary: I…You know what, let’s get down to business. We need to discuss the idea for Janelle’s Yoga video.

Jidenna: What have you got for me?

Mary: I was thinking we’re going full on with this yoga theme. You’ll be a yoga instructor and…

Jidenna: Wait, what do Yoga instructors wear?

Mary: T-shirts and yoga shorts or…

Jidenna: T shirts and Yoga Shorts? Is that like an ironic name for some kind of spring line-up? Sounds like something Canali or Tom Ford would do. “With the ‘T-shirts and Yoga shorts’ suits, feel lax but look immaculate”.

Mary: No just plain old t-shirts and yoga shorts. I’m sorry Jidenna…are you choking?

Jidenna: … Shorts?

Mary: Maybe not shorts, sweatpants maybe?

Jidenna: Good God…

Mary: Look Jidenna, the theme is yoga…

Jidenna: I will not do this! I reject this madness.

Mary: A track suit then

Jidenna: Just because it has suit in the title does not make it a suit!

Mary: Fine…fine. Maybe we can play around with it. A suit made out of that sweatpants material.

Jidenna: You’re trying to kill me.

Mary: Excuse me?

Jidenna: You were sent from Nigeria weren’t you? I should have known. They wouldn’t let a light skin get away this easily .

Mary: I don’t know what you’re talking about

Jidenna: Terrible fashion as a weapon. I never saw it coming. The cruelty. The inhumanity

Mary: Oh for the love of…ok, what do you suggest?

Jidenna: I’ll wear a suit…

Mary: ok…

Jidenna: But I’ll be in a diner.

Mary: I…what? What the hell does that have to do with Yoga?

Jidenna: A diner!

Mary: Yes?

Jidenna: Look from what I’ve heard here all you really need me to do is drop some class. Get down and dirty as it were. I’ll lower myself and actually enter a diner. Sit down even. That’s the most I’m willing to compromise.

Mary: oh my God!

Jidenna: I know. It’s brilliant.

Capture

Mary: sighs Fine. I can’t sway you. But there is one other thing.

Jidenna: Yes?

Mary: The classic man remix video. Some people…*cough* some people seem to think you’re a bit stuck up.

Jidenna: Really? Why would they say that.

Mary: I …erm, have no idea. But it’s out there and we have to deal with it. We thought for the video you could do something to change opinions maybe?

Jidenna: I have the perfect idea.

Mary: You do?

Jidenna: I’ll be in this sleek white suit right….

Mary: Right…

Jidenna: Then, this is the part…I’ll go into a convenience store.

Mary:…

Jidenna: You know, a convenience store. An actual one. Selling…things. Junk food or whatever is in those places. Then I get an ornate type box thing and walk out.

Mary: And?

Jidenna: That’s it.

Mary: What’s the point.

Jidenna: I buy things in convenience stores…like a normal person. I’m just like everyone else. Between the diner and the convenience store – I’m a man of the people Mary. A Classic man of the people.

Convenience

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